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May 5, 2010

I promised once I finished my spring classes that I would direct more of my words this way. So I want to keep that promise. I finished my spring classes last Friday. I have had moments of panic periodically since then…moments where I forget that my classes are over, that I don’t have to think about four assignments at once, that I can afford to just “be” and let my mind be a blank if I choose.

Those moments have slowly subsided…after a relaxing weekend and my first weekday evening in four months that I haven’t had something I had to do. I went for a long walk and a run, made Margherita pizza and watched American Idol while I relaxed on the couch. Then I just read. A book that I’ve been wanting to read. And it was nice.

I’ve enjoyed getting outside again…being in the fresh air and the sunshine…working out and expending pent-up energy…physical energy. I’ve been so busy these last several weeks expending my mental energy that I just haven’t had much time to expend my physical energy. And it feels great. They are just two different kinds of excercise and two totally different feelings of tired afterwards. The first is pushing me towards a goal and I like the feeling of accomplishment it gives. The latter gets my blood pumping and makes me sleep well at night. I like that, too.

Today I went to Lowes and bought flowers. I found a hanging basket of pretty, pink petunias. I found a mix of flowers to go in another hanging basket. I have a pot that I am slowly filling with herbs. I bought a small table and an Adirondack chair…all for under $40. I think it was the first time in a long time I’ve walked into a store and actually found exactly what I was looking for. I had fun coming home and planting my flowers, arranging the patio, sitting back and enjoying it all. I have a few more things I’d like to get to complete the ambience.

I’ve been itching just to go. To get on a plane or get in my car and just go. I’m not sure where. I’m not sure why. I just want to go. One of these days…after graduation next May…maybe I will.


From → Personal

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