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running away

September 27, 2010

Yesterday was a crazy morning in the nursery. Lydia and I have been volunteering  in the 10-15 month room at church since last December. It’s a lot of fun and I love being around kids, especially at that age.

But yesterday morning was crazy. There were a couple of moments when I felt like breaking down into a fit of tears like half the kids in the room were doing.

After we let out, I got in my car to go home, but I didn’t get off at my exit. I just kept driving. I opened the sunroof and I set the cruise control and I just kept driving…and driving.

It’s a good thing there is a Sonic between here and Dallas because otherwise I probably would  have ended up in Dallas. But I was starting to get thirsty and hungry, so I got off and ordered a Jr. Deluxe Burger, Cheddar Bites and a Route 44 water with lemon.

Then I reluctantly got back on the interstate heading home. I think I could have driven all day. Something inside of me ached just to cross a state line. Any state line.

I guess that’s how you feel when you’re running away. It doesn’t matter where the road is taking you, just as long as it’s taking you somewhere new, somewhere different, somewhere away. The day was so gorgeous – the sky was so big and blue – and I felt like I could really breathe.

I needed that little side trip to help me face Monday. I remember my last fall semester was this way, too. School and work  just get to be a little too much and I have a breakdown like the kids in the nursery.

And somehow I think that’s better than holding it all inside, pushing ahead even when my heart is far behind. My prayer was: Lord, renew me, refresh me, revive my spirit. I have no strength left.

And He did. He was there. I’m glad that even on days when I feel like running away (and do), He’s always there. Not holding me back…holding me together. In a way, running away with me.


From → Personal

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