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christmas eve

December 26, 2010

I am sitting in bed as I type this. With my new Earth Therapeutics Comfort Wrap (from Mom & Dad) helping me unwind. And a glass of Acai Berry Mango iced tea, too.

Christmas is over for another year. This month didn’t seem to fly by like other Decembers have, so it feels just about right and I’m not as sad to think of packing all the decorations away or taking down the Christmas lights on the porch or welcoming the New Year. I’m not as sad…but I am a little sad. I always feel that way. I’m sure a lot of people do.

So, this week I will sit in the living room after all the other lights have been turned off each night and stare at the twinkling glow of the Christmas tree. I will enjoy some more Christmas music, perhaps some more Christmas treats. And I will blog about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day…before we pack everything up for another year and I post my 2011 goals.

I have realized that there is a part of me that measures the amount of happiness I am allowed to experience. As if there is a limit. As if I need to be legalistic about taking pleasure in the blessings God has given me. It is one of the subtlest and most dangerous lies I have believed – that I can only feel a certain measure of joy before it must be balanced with an equal measure of pain.

Maybe I’m not making any sense…but I’ve seen this pattern in myself. Life does contain pain, but God’s blessings certainly do bring joy. I am teaching myself to enter more fully into that joy – to not be afraid to be overwhelmed by it, to let it soothe the pain, even wash it away. I guess, to simply ride the waves without entertaining fear of what the next one might bring. That’s not my business to know or worry about. It is my business to live now. And if now is joy-filled, then I soak it in. And if now is pain-filled, then I ride it out.

Our Christmas Eve was joy-filled. It was a great time of just being together as a family, sharing simple pleasures: good food, laughter, plenty of rest and special moments that we will remember for years to come. And I soaked it in.

(Zoe on her king size bed in front of the fire)

(Yes, the focus is off, but it was the best I could do at getting all four of us in the frame)

(Our Christmas Eve tradition: Yorkshire Pudding and roast beef)

(Another tradition: a birthday cake for Jesus)

It’s been fun re-living our Christmas Eve. I have Christmas Day still to do. My comfort wrap has cooled and I need to go re-heat it in the microwave. Then I might watch a movie on Netflix just because.

It’s the day after Christmas, but that’s just a calendar thing. Not a heart thing. I am learning that the simple pleasures and joys of Christmas are mine all year long. If I look for them and savor them. Yes, it’s my business to live now.

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From → Personal

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