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nearer than i think

January 17, 2011

My view today has been very clouded. I haven’t felt well at all. Although I’ve been working on school, reading, thinking about the week ahead, I didn’t get out of bed until just 15 minutes ago – 3:30pm in the afternoon. That is unusual for me. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I was in bed at 3:30pm in the afternoon.

There are days when the past and the future and most especially the present has a stronger grip than others. Today was one of those days for me. I could not escape it. Maybe it was because I was in bed, in a quiet room by myself for most of the day with nothing to distract me from my thoughts.

I’m not sure. I only know that sometimes I feel like I’m running from something I can’t see, that all of the things I do each day are just a way to fill up time, that there is a part of me that will always live with disappointment. To be honest. Some days discouragement is easier to wear than others.

And then I walked outside. I was just going out to throw the trash in the dumpster. I just wanted to get out of the apartment and breathe a little fresh air. And the air was fresh. And the sun was shining. And the birds were singing. And there wasn’t even a breeze really.

I realized it was all God’s reminder to me that Spring is nearer than I think. It will be here before I know it – bringing new growth, color, life and warmth.

I took my book and a glass of juice (half full now) and sat out on the patio. I just wanted to “drink” it all in. Just to sit with the reminder that Spring is always nearer than I think. Even on the cold days, the dark days, when my view is nothing but clouds. It’s just right around the corner.

And that gives me hope.


From → Personal

  1. *hugs*

    I excited about Spring too…can’t wait to see my first daffodil!

    I’m so glad we get to hang out tomorrow night…see you soon!

  2. Me, too! Looking forward to it!!!!

  3. Amy permalink

    I’m sorry you had a tough day friend. So glad you were able to enjoy a nice day! You are so sweet, I love you!

  4. This post really hit home with me, Hannah! I had to leave work yesterday because I was not feeling well, and I kept getting worse. Last night was horrible! But just like you said, there is hope. Thanks for sharing, it encouraged me!

  5. So sorry, Lauren – being under the weather is no fun. Makes me thankful for good health when I have it! Hope you feel better soon!

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